LL might be the only person in town who actually reads the candidate statements printed in those voter guides [PDF] that the Board of Elections and Ethics mails out to every registered voter in the District. Some statements are weird (“1999: two homeless men sit outside a computer lab pouring champagne they buy every New Year’s Eve,” starts shadow sen hopeful Damien Lincoln Ober‘s); some are laughable (Marion Barry‘s claim: “I embraced Mayor Fenty’s and Chancellor Rhee’s Educational Reform Movement”); and some, well, are just baffling.

Take Chanda McMahan‘s, who in the past year has run for chair of the Ward 8 Democrats, the Democratic nomination for Ward 8 councilmember, and now Ward 8’s spot on the State Board of Education. At an appearance she made at the Gertrude Stein Democratic Club in June, McMahon was, shall LL say, a tad unfocused. Her voter-guide statement does not challenge that impression:

The statement of candidate that declares my information deemed necessary to protect the qualified experiences of/and the integrity for the School Board’s Participation are the 10 years of experience of Teaching in the Public Schools and the priorities which process the stature of qualified participation to support the focus of the school’s mission and accomplishments that defend the appropriate education-with rights to an adequate education.

Now LL knows all of those words but he cannot figure out what the hell this is supposed to mean. Perhaps McMahan is trying to win the linguistics set, and this is some sort of Chomskyan deep-structure mindfuck. Or not.

Feel free to attempt a translation in the comments.