While the fur continues to fly with our federal friends and their thoughts on whether or not we can keep slammin’ our Obama Slammers well into the a.m., City Paper‘s favorite bar owner has been quietly killing it on the Adams Morgan Listserv with his rapier sarcasm.

To wit, regarding (presumably) ANC Commissioner’s Bryan Weaver‘s comments in the Post poo-pooing extended inaugural hours—-“To have 3 1/2 days of 24-hour service without any input from the community, there’s going to be hell to pay from a lot of neighborhood associations”—-“Bill D” responds:

To hear these extremely low level, local politicians speaking out about how they should have been consulted before decisions were made about this grand international event is absurd. I’m surprized there has been no ANC demand that one of their exaltd leaders be designated to hold the bible for the swearing-in ceremony. Apparently these other elected officials who passed legislation without conferring with Bryan and Mindy beforehand just do not understand the importance of the Adams Morgan ANC…they will live to regret their impudence.

Enter the Duggan pile-on. How dare “Bill D” malign the innocent character of ANC Commissioner Mindy Moretti! She is not interchangeable with Bryan Weaver! She is her own person! She can respond for herself! (But, it should be noted, she does not.) “Bryan Weaver,” however, is no shy violet when it comes to being poked by “Bill D”. I mean, there’s a reason we picked him as Best Advisory Neighborhood Commissioner. To wit:

And yes, I have asked that I swear in President elect Obama while holding Howard Zinn’s “A People’s History of the United States” and that the Presidential Inauguration be moved to midnight at the Basketball Court at Walter Pierce Park. Looks like it will happen, but we need to push for some emergency legislation for the park to be open all night in case some of the 4 million expected visitors want to play a game of  basketball after the inauguration, perhaps President Obama will even join us in a game or 2, hey now that is emergency legislation I could get behind.

With sarcasm less rapier (as in she’s totally serious), another Adams Morganite, “Nani WePaste,” brings the issue back to the national focus is so clearly deserves. To wit:

When you read on this community forum an outright personal attack on two of the hardest working Adams Morgan community organizers, you have to wonder what the agenda of the attacker is. Remember Sarah Palin’s attack against community organizers in her speech at the Republican Convention this year? The Struggle Continues. Nani

This totally serious hyperbole is no match for “Wes Combs,” however, who demands “Bill D” take back his mean, mean comments. To wit:

It would be nice to hear Bill Duggan just once say, “We are also concerned about the possible excitement that the visitors to our city will be expressing as they patronize our bars and restaurants.  We are committed to ensuring that they do so in a safe and responsible manner.” His continual refusal to be part of the solution does a disservice to the many responsible bar and restaurant owners.

To which (and here’s the money pullquote you’ve been waiting for) “Bill D” offers up his sincerest of sincere apologies.

Wes is so right. I wasn’t able to sleep last night after I realized what a dick I’ve been; how callous I was, not just to Bryan and Mindy, but, by extension, to all “community organizers” everywhere and, shit, really to everyone, everywhere. I realize now that I should never have opened that stupid bar. That the neighborhood and the city would be way better off without it. So, Wes, here I go. I’m going to say just what you need me to say “We are also concerned about the possible excitement that the visitors to our city will be expressing as they patronize our bars and restaurants. We are committed to ensuring that they do so in a safe and responsible manner.” I’ll do better in the future, Wes.  I swear I will.  Please don’t give up on me.

CP photo by Charles Steck