I’ve still got rum balls to roll, people. So let’s make this run-down of the week’s openings quick, using an easy-to-understand grading system that’s both familiar and festive:

The Wrestler: NICE
Gran Torino: NICE
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: NOT AS NICE AS IT THINKS IT IS
Marley & Me: NAUGHTY
Bedtime Stories: REALLY NAUGHTY
The Reader: BORDERLINE, BUT I’M VOTING NAUGHTY
The Spirit: PRETTY BUT NAUGHTY
Valkyrie: WHO CARES

Look for reviews of The Wrestler, Gran Torino, and Benjamin Button on this site soon, if not already — there’s a good chance that, through the magic of the Internet, I’ll still be sleeping when this posts.

Ho ho ho, etc.!

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