City Paper is not for tourists
The season’s final BCS game comes with Thursday’s Florida/Oklahoma matchup.
If past is prologue, those viewing the alleged national championship game on the local Fox affiliate better be prepared for a barrage of wonderfully underproduced and low-aiming commercials for an outfit called CashPoint.
That’s a Virginia financial firm that gives equity loans to car owners.
The best/worst of the fantastic/horrific CashPoint ads that aired seemingly every few minutes in Monday’s Texas/Ohio State clash had a cleavagey female in a retail store fawning over something in a jewelry case and moaning, “I would do anything for any guy that would buy me that!”
A nerdy dude standing nearby hears the line and immediately falls for this Moana Lisa.
As his jaw hits the floor and eyes go wide, an excited narrator in Monster Trucks mode barks, “Neeeeeeeed cash? Take your car title to CashPoint and get cash!”
Talk about a sign of the times. According to CashPoint’s website, those wanting quick money can bring their “lien-free [car] title” and a spare car key to any of the company’s 11 locations throughout Virginia. (Woodbridge, which, as anybody who has taken a cruise down Route 1 lately can tell you, has been all but destroyed by the economic downturn, is the only town with two CashPoint outlets.)
Company staffers will then appraise the vehicle and give you a loan against your car’s value.
“CashPoint will hold your title,” reads the company’s FAQ. “You keep your car and get the cash you need.”
No credit check is necessary. But if you don’t keep up with payments, the fine print says, they’ll put that spare key you handed over to use and take possession of the auto.
I’m no Tim Geithner, but I think that the nerd in the commercial would be better off raising the quick capital needed to land the bauble-craving babe by putting his entire paycheck on Tim Tebow and Florida, and laying the 4 points.