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Jake Tapper is an illustrious alum of Washington City Paper. He was a writing machine when he worked here. Now he works as White House correspondent for ABC News. He recently said in an interview, “I am at heart a print reporter, and I think that that’s where [my blogging jones] comes from.”

Tony Kornheiser is an illustrious alum of the Washington Post. Before taking the paper’s buyout, he’d written thousands upon thousands of columns and stories. Now he’s a highly paid
ESPN personality. He said on the occasion of taking the Post‘s early retirement offer: “All I ever wanted to be was a newspaper writer. This other stuff is great, but I don’t care about it. In my mind that’s what it says on the headstone, it says ‘newspaper guy.’ ”

OK, so fellows: If you really are in your minds and hearts really print guys, get the hell off of TV. Go back to print, full-time—no makeup, no takes, no standups, no set, no big-time six-figure paydays. Just go back to the newspapers, fellows. ‘Cause it’s got to be killing you not to be doing what your hearts say you should be doing. C’mon now, quit these sweet gigs and get back to writing 10-inch stories.