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This afternoon, I was able to skim through the Presidential Inaugural Committee‘s Volunteer Courtesy Guide. This is the PIC’s playbook for its volunteers who will be fanning out across the city this weekend, and of course on Jan. 20. There are tons of rules, helpful suggestions, and ridiculousness. Among the rules, The Volunteer Courtesy Guide, states that volunteers can not chew gum!

And then there’s the section called “Volunteers and the Media.” Under this section, here are a rules 1, 3, and 4 taken directly from the manual:

“1. Under no circumstances should you speak to the media or otherwise represent PIC (Presidential Inaugural Committee)…. 3. In directing media personnel to the appropriate resources, remain polite and considerate regardless of the behavior of the media representatives. Members of the media are frequently working under tight deadlines and can sometimes be demanding. It is critical you remain calm and treat the media with respect and courtesy. 4. Do not criticize event activities, fellow volunteers, or PIC during public events. If you perceive a problem, seek to rectify it. Our purpose is to project a positive image of Washington, DC and the Inauguration.”

Hilarious. So remember volunteers, when facing down Washington City Paper‘s I-Team, please text your team leader for help! And say nothing!