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Among the roughly 1 million customers at Ben’s Chili Bowl on U Street tonight was R&B superstar Usher. Upon his exit, Usher waved to the U Street crowd and ducked into the black Escalade with tinted windows waiting for him in the alley. After he skirted the crowd, at least one woman expressed disappointment that he didn’t linger with the masses. “Usher, you don’t have to rush like that!” screamed a woman. “We’re not going to do anything to you.”

Henceforth, Washington City Paper reporters will attempt to stop every black Escalade with tinted windows, on the hunch that a celeb lurks within.

Reporting by Jason Cherkis, writing by Erik Wemple