I’m stuck at the office, so I’m starting up a new feature: INAUGURAL INSULT COMIC! To the list!
- A man at the door wearing nothing but a barrel.
- Somebody’s pappy holding a shotgun to your back, tellin’ you if you drink one of his daughter’s mojitos, you’d best be fixin’ to make an honest woman outta her.
- A beard-pulling contest set to the tune of “Turkey in the Straw”
- Signs for the men’s and ladies’ “privvies”
- Everyone fleeing when someone shouts “RIVINOOERS!” followed by the sound of a couple hundred Ford Mavericks coughing to life, tires squealing, and people shouting “YEEEEEEEEEHAAAA!”