Do we need another story about whether or not D.C. is cool? Apparently, the Washington Post thinks so. They ran one on Sunday by Rachel Dry, an author who loves asking the reader rhetorical questions. She loves them so much. You wanna know how much? She leads with ’em.

Really?

Yes.

“Will Washington now be cool? Dry asks. She gets some kinda answer from some dude in the Netherlands. Lemme let Dry explain: “Carl Rohde has an idea. He teaches cultural sociology in the Netherlands and runs a Web site called ‘Science of the Time — the science of cool.’ He oversees a network of trendspotting ‘cool-hunters’ who troll major cities for the next next things. There are no cool-hunters in Washington.”

Cool hunting has got to be the lamest thing ever. So what do you do for a living/hobby/creepy website? Oh, I cool hunt.

I’m glad we don’t have any of Rohde’s “cool hunters.” They sound scary. Besides, isn’t he wrong? Don’t all the cool hunters blog for Brightest Young Things? I am so uncool for pointing that out. The latest thing on Rohde has pointed out on his website is a new adidas store. How cool. Another recent post spotlights  interactive billboards. Don’t you wish Petworth had some interactive billboards instead of all that gritty neon?

Next, Dry brings up another reason why D.C. may not be cool. Density. We are a city that just is not dense enough. She quotes Peter Gloor. Never met him at an ANC meeting? Here’s why: he doesn’t live here. He’s a “research scientist at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, thinks. He’s co-author of Coolhunting: Chasing Down the Next Big Thing and author of the forthcoming Coolfarming.” Who’d want to read a book called Coolfarming? It sounds like a show on E or the front-of-the-book section in Maxim.

Gloor vacationed in D.C. with his kids and went to a bunch of museums. That’s his D.C. experience. Can’t wait to hear what he has to say about the District.

Gloor felt the city wasn’t dense enough. He obviously didn’t take his kiddies to Adams Morgan, Georgetown, Dupont Circle or U Street or Friendship Heights or Chinatown. He wished D.C. had something like Times Square. How uncool.

No need to read further. Needless to say there is the implication that Obama will make us cool. What a scoop.