I can understand — sort of — when studios bombard me every December with what are essentially glossy picture books of Academy Award contenders. They feature stills and factoids about the films they’re touting; inevitably, I shake the envelope in vain to dump out the surely enclosed screener and think, “That’s it? That’s what FedEx woke me up at 8 a.m. to sign for?”

But I was pretty disgusted yesterday when I picked up a UPS Next Day Air envelope from Fox Marketing in California. Again, I was expecting a screener. But what I got was…a Valentine’s Day card. Which was really lame swag for (500) Days of Summer, a romantic comedy that doesn’t open until July.

Good to know that there are still some businesses with money to throw away.