Photo by Darrow Montgomery

Over at why.i.hate.dc, a local D.C. blogger has declared war on local D.C. blogs, and written a sarcastic list of tips for creating a successful neighborhood blog (which if you follow, “you should find yourself linked by DCist and The Washington City Paper in no time!”).

One anonymous commenter joked that he/she was “so inspired I’m going to start a Brookland neighborhood parody blog.”

My first post will ask readers to join me in an email writing campaign to Whole Foods corporate headquarters asking for our own store.

Next, I’ll review the new coffee shop opened by two gay men who just returned from wintering in Vieques, and who import “fair trade” Ethiopian coffee direct from the source.

Jokes aside, it raises a legitimate question: where is Brookland on the blog scene? Both the Brookland Blog (which has an old post about the ever-entertaining Brookland listserv) and stop, blog, and roll have been inactive since the summer, leaving a huge gap for an intrepid blogger to fill. Sure, there’s the Brookland Heartbeat, but that only comes out every other month.

There’s just an endless stream of material to cover in Brookland – the Brookland-CUA Small Area Plan is a classic development v. status quo fight, a new restaurant on 12th Street, town & gown stories based on conflicts between Catholic U. and the neighborhood (usually centered around bars like the Library and the Cardinal’s Nest), fights about putting power lines underground and Brookland is right next door to the Armed Forces Retirement Center and the McMillian Sand Filtration site. What more could a blogger ask for?

Some suggestions from why.i.hate.dc to get you started:

…Your blog’s banner must include a photo of either the local Metro station, or a group of rowhouses.

…You should always discuss how awesomely friendly your neighbors are, in so much that the people who have “lived there forever” say hi to you.

…Hearing gunshots warrants an immediate “live blogging” event. You should definitely make note of how long it took the police to arrive. You should also mention that while you aren’t sure what actually occurred, you intend to call the police station to find out. You may or may not post a follow up, explaining how unhelpful the police were on the phone.

…You should lament how despite the growing number of restaurants and bars, you have yet to find one that’s “cozy” or “neighborhood” enough for you. Don’t mention that any place that would meet this criteria is EWWW waaay too gross for your taste.

…Post a lot of poorly composed, low quality photos that you took with your iPhone/cell phone.

…Lament the lack of a good (name brand) grocery store in your neighborhood.

Head over to their post for some more tips, Brooklanders, and get bloggin’!

Update: former stop, blog, and roll blogger Jaime Fearer (now blogging for Greater, Greater Washington) argues that the blogisn’t inactive, it’s closed b/c i moved but still up in case the info is useful. semantics, i know.” Point taken. While stop blog and roll is “closed,” it does serve as an archive of a lot of happenings in Brookland (as well as a lot of great links for info on the area). Sidenote: someone needs to come up with a new buzzword for abandoned blogs.