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Comments sections are like airport bagel shops—absolutely necessary, and you’ll never remember anything you get out of any of them. But enough old-media whining! Let’s salute the people who made us scroll down!

WEEK 9 (FEB. 23-27) FINALISTS

  • popcesspool (former contributor Joe Warminsky), with a sad truth about why Hacky Sack is dying: “It’s simple: Hippies ruin everything, even the things they love.”
  • The Traveler, with a stream-of-unconsciousness set of comments on a fashion item from 2006 that already sports a fairly amazing display of weirdness, which informed us that she spent the holidays “listening to songs like landslide, disowned and thrown away by my own family. I’m a joke to them.” Make lemonade, Traveler!  “I took their scorn and there treachery and used it to drive me.”
  • The entire comment section of Chervis Chevis Cherkis’ Black Jesus post, which included some genuinely touching remarks from family members of two slain young men.
  • Leila, who upon reading Carman’s cri de coeur about shawarma, posits that perhaps he’s “just not schwarma material.” Not in D.C., Leila! We have laws here, dammit!
  • Mike, who in a lively discussion over whether Joaquin Phoenix and Isabella Rossellini are, in fact, Jewish, makes a killer point: “I wonder what qualifies her as an “uber-goy”? Does that mean no one who looks like her could ever be Jewish?”

AND THE WINNER IS…

Mike! For deploring “the continued insistence of American film critics that all movie Jews should look and sound like a brutal ’60s stereotype.” Mike, email me, and I’ll send you a City Paper T-shirt or, if there is any left, some of the Watchmen swag outside our marketing director’s office.

Photo by Flickr user M.V. Jantzen