As part of a program devised to compensate Southern Marylanders for the loss of the Toddle House chain, NASA tonight will shoot Ricky Arnold, a native of Bowie, Md. into outer space. Arnold will not be making this voyage in a Trans Am. However, there will be fire, and he will have the chance to moon Upper Marlboro several times per day. There may be an opportunity to write “CAL #8” on the outer beams of the International Space Station, and if you think you hear someone shouting “WOOO DOGGIES!” from the direction of the moon, you’ll know who’s responsible. And now I am out of Smedneck jokes except for this official photo of Arnold:

Which I think looks better like this: