We know D.C. Get our free newsletter to stay in the know.

Morning, all. Fresh, local content out today. In case you missed it: Our cover story looks at the lonely life of the D.C. bike helmet. Amazing what you all will risk for good hair. Also: Housing Complex‘s Ruth Samuelson takes a drive over to fantasyland, aka Brightwood; The Sexist‘s Amanda Hess explores your conscience; Young & Hungry‘s Tim Carman takes on the double-edged sword that is the gift certificate; movie critic Tricia Olszewski reviews Witch Mountain and Robert Blecker; theater critic Trey Graham on After the Garden and Pumpgirl. All that and more also available in paper.

The B1 news  today: Marc Fisher finally cuts through the B.S. and gets on board with getting screwed by the feds—-as long as the feds give us our voting rep. District politicos playing chicken with both the suits on the Hill and the gun lobby are going to lose, he argues. And, yes, yes, we all know it’s about principle and the gun rider essentially takes away the autonomy we want in the effort to give us autonomy. But let it go. Gun laws can change. The vote is forever. Fisher, there’s a reason you’re our favorite local columnist.

* Making a bid to be our favorite senator who knows what’s good for us is Nevada’s own John Ensign. Politico teases us with its salacious headline (D.C. Mayor Ensign?) and then offers up a boilerplate rundown of Ensign’s meddling. But this quote is pretty choice: “People in the District are really happy that I’m standing up for them on school choice,” he said. “And the ones who care about the Second Amendment love the fact that I’m sticking up for their rights as well.”

Less venting after the jump.

* WTOP claims credit for an arrest on a hit-and-run in Arlington. A man who’d previously said he was a witness apparently heard a report about cops seeking the perpetrator, felt guilty, and turned himself in.

* Need your teeth cleaned and a “massage”? Too late. A supposed brothel in a Manassas office park has been shut down and its ladies arrested.

* We’re out of work. D.C. unemployment rates highest they’ve been in a decade.

* We could be out of work: Bankruptcy hearing that may decide the future of Washington City Paper continues today in Tampa. Creative Loafing CEO Ben Eason takes the stand at 1:30. The highlight from yesterday: Creditors claim our parent company’s value has dropped $7 million in three months.