Today, if there is anything out there that is holy, City Paper‘s long, blurb-filled journey ends. Our second Best Of D.C. issue since 1987 hits with a thud (it’s heavy, people, so plan accordingly). And, because we can, we celebrate not just the best, but the second-bests throughout our land. We’ve always had a soft spot for the also-rans, so this is your year, John McCain and Baked & Wired! Since it’s new to you and old to me, let me give you a couple highlights: anything written by Aaron Leitko, who seems to have found his meme; Mike Riggs‘ oddly reasonable defense of Lauriol Plaza as the best tex-mex; Erik Wemple‘s sports column disguised as symphony service journalism; Amanda Hess not picking your dog as the best in D.C.; and this prize-worthy lede: “Keys! We all use them to lock and unlock things.”

Don’t like our picks? Well, you had your chance. More than 30,000 of you logged on to tell us what you think. And some of those votes came from people who don’t work here, so color us impressed.

But what’s this? You want news in your Morning Roundup?

NC8 has another heartbreaker: Eugene Francis Neal, manager of the Takoma Metro station, was gunned down in front of his Northeast home. His 14-year-old son and his mother give tearful pleas. A Metro spokesperson says he’s the second Takoma station manager to be killed in the past year.

* Click here to watch! NC8 also has footage of an armed liquor store robbery in Adams Morgan. Robbery happened earlier this month, but now there’s scary security cam video.

* City Paper should try this: Esther, a D.C. native and “first soprano, baby!,” blogs about how the Master Chorale of Washington needs money or it will be shut down. Poof! Someone pledges $5,000. I think I spent quality time with Esther at a wedding in Erie, Pa., once. Esther, remember me? Can you blog about my paper’s troubles and get us some cash?

* tomgpalmer is very fucking annoyed with women who fucking swear several times within one fucking sentence. Especially when  he’s trying to enjoy a fucking snack at Kramer’s Books’ cafe.

* Rebuilding Place in the Urban Space, the blog also known as Renew Shaw, has posts about touring the Florida Market and high-speed rails. But the best stuff is the finger-lickin’ goods on the Colonel one-upping Fenty. You thought Potholepalooza had legs? KFC is accepting pleas from cities to fill their Firestone-killers, as long as the cities let the chicken chain spray its logo on the fill when done.

* DCFoodies thinks we still have money for single-malt tastings and fancy cheese. When it’s free cabbage rolls and bargain-price whiskey, be sure to let me know.