Who among you is an expert on local sausages, French fries, delis, and fried pork chops? We’ve got you by your monkey balls, monkeyrotica. First, we poked you in our Content Bankruptcy filing for complaining about City Paper on sites that are not owned and operated by City Paper. Now you’re all over our shit.

Don’t think we don’t know you’re a man of prole tastes. Sausages, French fries, delis, and fried pork chops? Aimed right at your squishy belly, monkey. You are powerless to resist. Mwa-ha-ha.

Ha.