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I understand that every publication on the interwebs is trying to crack the whole ‘monetizing’ nut, but these scrollovers really take things too far.

Take Slate. This a.m., I stole three minutes from actual work to read up on the essentials—you know, my daily dose of counterintuitive rhetorical questions and columns on the best way to break one’s leg. Before I could click through to a piece on “why you should let your kid suck his thumb” or a Jack Shafer column asking, “prithee, does we need newspapers?” a ginormous Volkswagen ad swooped in, flashing sleek images of a black sedan and dropping catchphrases like “ART GALLERY QUALITY INTERIOR” and “POSITIVELY OOZES CLASS.” Yum! Before I knew it, I had accidentally clicked on an article asking whether socialized medicine had killed Natasha Richardson. I did not read this article.

Lil’ disclosure: A number of similar ads are circulating on our own site—some kind of shoot-’em-up film trailer and a massive White Castle flash animation that swiftly takes over your whole screen. Don’t bother trying to mute, pause, or stop the animation—those buttons won’t work. Nor will the [close this] button. Your only option? Close the browser, or navigate away from our site.

So please, keep reading. And don’t scroll over. Here’s Chuck Berry:

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