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The news that D.C. tops the nation in cocaine use, according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, is hard to process. It’s like finding out that Los Angelenos read the most books or that Tampa has the fewest back tattoos.

We’re Top 5 for marijuana and binge-drinking, which should surprise no one who’s bought a jumbo slice on a weekend night, but check out these numbers:

Vermont tops the nation in marijuana use (2.5 percent of people 12 and over get high there), North Dakota flattens all comers in binge drinking (58.1 percent of 18-25-year-olds and 28.7 of folks 26 and up). Cocaine use in D.C. though, is at 5.1 percent, which means there’s a reasonable chance someone in your office is going to think s/he is really, really smart and good-looking later this evening.

Photo of someone pretending to snort Chex mix with a Slim Jim (which is more what you’d expect of D.C., drug-use wise) by Flickr user decaf