Last night, Nats fans got the closest thing to playoff baseball they’re gonna have this year. Lowly DC vs. Uppity NY. “Damn Yankees!” in the flesh!

That 9th inning was TENSE! John Lannan goes eight great innings, then gives up a homer and a single in the 9th (to Mark Teixiera, who must still be tossing and turning over his winter decision NOT to take the Lerners’ offer and play near his hometown) leaves with one out and a one run lead, and lip synchs a “Motherfucker!” in the dugout for the MASN audience when he gets yanked. Then Cano has an at bat longer then some innings before hitting into a double play. Game over!  Bang Zoom Go the Fireworks!

Can’t wait for today’s game!

Day baseball!

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Matt Wieters Collectible Figurine Night at the Bowie Baysox game went off with only one hitch: “It wasn’t as big as we thought it would be,” says Tom Sedlacek, Baysox spokesman.

The team had prepared for an army of hoarders to descend on the game, as they had for past events such as the Lindsay Czarniak and Pat Sajak bobblehead nights.

They even put in special, bizarre rules to limit the greedy: “There will be a limit of one figurine per person,” read the giveaway announcement, “and there will be a ‘No Exit and Re-Entry’ policy in effect from 6:00 – 7:00 pm or until all giveaways have been distributed. Fans will not be able to exit the stadium during this time period.

But last night, Sedlacek says, “We only had one guy who bought two tickets and complained about not being able to leave and come back and get another figurine,” he says.

Worse, as of game time, the dolls weren’t even all given away.

So what went wrong?

“The Orioles had a Adam Jones bobblehead giveaway last night,” says Sedlacek. “That hurt.”

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What really matters?

I went to the Google news page this morning and the leading headlines were “Iran Council Offers to Meet With Presidential Candidates,” “Debate Begins on Obama Consumer Protection Plan,” and “Woods Pars 1st Hole.

I clicked one of ’em.

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You can’t play Real Madrid in a 90,000-seat coliseum every night, but still: DC United announced a match against somebody called the Ocean City Barons of something called the PDL in someplace called Boyds, MD, for some tournament called the Lamar Hunt U.S. Open Cup.

That just seems bad for the brand.

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Good for the brand: If you’re still waiting to see Kaka and Cristiano (“At Least I Had Paris” Ronaldo (who, because he’s the latest to undo Hilton’s chastity belt, I got to watch get a total body rubdown poolside on “TMZ” a few nights ago), more tickets are going on sale for the United/Real match. Turns out tickets to the whole upper bowl at FedExField were being withheld — hence the puddle of douche gathering at Craigslist, where folks are trying to get $500 for a pair of seats to the Aug. 9 friendly. Avoid the scalpers and pay $70-$90 to sit upstairs. Seats on the Club level will cost $90, $100 and $110.

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