City Paper is not for tourists
A Web site went live a couple days ago inviting folks to buy tickets for “The Ultilmate Tailgate Party,” an allegedly massive all-day gathering for Redskins alumni and fans on Aug. 29 at RFK Stadium.
The bash will, again allegedly, feature speeches by Dan Snyder and Joe Gibbs and appearances by so many burgundy and gold greats that organizers are calling the shindig “the greatest sports event ever held in the Capital City of Washington, DC.”
Ticket packages run from $25 to $12,500.
But before you send yourself a save-a-date: Based solely on the shoddiness of the 19-page invitation as available online on Thursday, nobody should be shocked if it’s the greatest sports event ever not held in the Capital City of Washington, DC.
Here’s one of the more colorful portions of the invite:
In a time when some doubt the DOMINANCE of the BURGUNDY & GOLD, we must remember where the fear and the Dominance of the Burgundy & Gold came from… It has been 17years since our mighty Burgundy and Gold Donned the Phrase… “SUPERBOWLCHAMPION” or the phrase “GRIDIRON CHAMPION of WARRIORS.”
The problems with the announcement go way beyond the misspelling of the party’s name (“Ultilmate”?) and its new-school capitalization.
The invite, for example, features a “Gala Roster of Gridiron Warriors” that includes Mel Kaufman. No matter how great the party is, the longtime Skins linebacker won’t be there.
Kaufman died in February.
Turns out the “Gala Roster” posted on the invite is made up of entire Redskins rosters from each the team’s Super Bowl seasons under Gibbs. So the Gridiron Warriors also include the ScabSkins who crossed picket lines to play during the 1987 NFLPA strike.
The posted itinerary for party is dubious, too. Some parts are hilariously vague. Under “Event Entertainment” you’ll find only: “Local Washington, DC Bands will play throughout the day in the ultimate battle of the bands, DC Style…”
Other sections are overly detailed:
8:45 PM Questions and Answers from the Table Sponsors and General Admission Seats for selected players and coaches on stage and displayed on the Stadium Screening Board
9:00 PM Presentation of the Gridiron Legend Awards
9:05 PM Reserved for remarks by Dan Snyder on the upcoming Redskin Season
9:15 PM Closing Remarks, Q&A and Thank You to the Fans by Joe Gibbs
Slotting Snyder, who appears to have nothing to do with promoting this event, just 10 minutes at the podium is believable. But a 15-minute Q&A for a couple hundred ex-players and coaches, and then another 15 minutes for Gibbs to give his speech and answer questions from a crowd of “20,000 fans,” according to the promotional materials?
Who would put together such a piss-poor package for an event that promises, and charges, so much? And who in god’s creation figured 20,000 folks would pay real money to show up at a tailgate with no football game to go with?
Well, according to whois.net, the web address thegridirongala.com was registered by “Gary Clark” of Dublin, Va.
Well, Redskins great Gary Clark is from Dublin, Va. He’s thrown smaller-scale Redskins parties in the past. He was behind something called “Gary Clark’s Super Bowl Reunion Party” at a Falls Church bar in February.
Here’s a snippet from the invite Clark wrote up for that event:
In a time when some doubt the DOMINANCE of the BURGUNDY & GOLD, we must remember where the fear of the Redskins and the thoughts of DOMINANCE come from. It has been around 17 years since our mighty Burgundy and Gold Donned the Phrase… “SUPER BOWL CHAMPION” or the phrase I still like best, “GRIDIRON CHAMPION.” Well, sometimes in Supporting the Present you have to Celebrate the Past, because in the past, many times, you find what guides your future. Meaning, that the past often inspires you to be what you can be…great!
No need to wait for DNA results. I think we’ve got a match.
Stick with Cheap Seats Daily to stay updated on developments with The Ultilmate Tailgate Party.