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Sally Jenkins classied up the City Desk comments section last night, coming in after a post by Editor Erik Wemple to admit that she understands why folks other than her bosses don’t want her writing so many stories about Lance Armstrong.

But Jenkins took a short break from the confessional to say that in a previous post I’d made an error about how extensive the Jenkins/Armstrong library is: “By the way,” she wrote, “tell Dave McKenna it’s only two books with Armstrong, not ‘several.'”

Those words hurt, coming from such a high place. And her allegation seems so dead-on; I really had written that she wrote “several” books, and she really had only written two. And the first of several online dictionaries I visited in hopes of a reprieve gave definitions of “several” that indicated I was guilty as charged.

But then I thought of Lance, who would never ever just cave and admit his accusers were right, no matter how obvious his guilt, no matter how strong the evidence.

So on I googled…

…and I found this: “Several (sev ar ul) adj. As in many, multiple, more than one, quite a few, boy what a lot of ’em, etc.”


Ok, so it ain’t Webster’s. It’s a definition used by the Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute‘s bio-chemistry department.

I’ll ride with them!

So…while RPI nerds would clear me of your charges, Sally, I wonder what this gaggle of bio-chemists would say about Lance’s guilt if given a look-see at several CC’s of his vintage pee pee!

And while I’ve got you, Sally: You said in the comments section that you explored the Armstrong/Contador alliance because it was like watching Joan Crawford and Bette Davis brawl.

Well, in that very same column about Lance and Contador, you mention him being interviewed by Frankie Andreu.

Frankie Andreu? Lance’s former teammate and most credible accuser? The guy whose accusation, in a court case, put the “Lance Is a Doper!” charges into high gear? The guy who never retracted his damning testimony?

That Frankie Andreu?

Heck, if Armstrong/Contador is like Joan Crawford/Bette Davis, then isn’t Armstrong/Andreu like Joan Crawford vs. the dude who wrote “Mommie Dearest“?

Who wouldn’t want to read how Lance feels about talking to his primary accuser? But that relationship gets no play in your Washington Post copy.

That’s why some of us dwell on whether these Tour de France stories are affected by the several (RIP, RPI dictionary!) two books you’ve written with Lance.

Sorry for rambling through the Pyrenees here, Sally. It really was fab of you to stop by. Please come again.