Talking guinea pigs, a murderous adoptee, and “art porn.” Business as usual at your local theater:

Humpday: Judd Apatow has made a joke of straight-dude friendships so gushy they stop just short of PDAs; Lynn Shelton toys with the idea of a pair actually going for it. Her mumblecore film about a project for Seattle’s real-life porn festival deems the action “beyond gay.” Though the script is somewhat novel, you may call it “beyond logic.”

In the Loop: British and American politicos clash Office-style over war. Armando Iannucci’s comedy, based on his BBC series, is fast-paced, sharp, and often ridiculously funny. But the deluge of jokes eventually feels like a comedic filibuster.

Orphan: There’s something wrong with Esther, all right — and it’s that this Omen/Bad Seed knockoff is funny instead of scary. The Ugly Truth: Katherine Heigl in a romantic comedy. Enough said. G-Force: A Jerry Bruckheimer/Disney joint about secret-agent guinea pigs. The story’s no good, but it’s in 3D! Go empty your wallets immediately; there are only approximately another billion kids movies coming out with that extra dimension.