Enjoy the rest of your summer driving because starting October 1, it might be smarter to stay off the roads. Mayor Adrian M. Fenty announced yesterday that he is “unburdening” taxpayers and scrapping safety inspections of private vehicles. Let’s break this down:

  • District cost of vehicle safety checks: $400,000
  • Average cost of new vehicle: $30,000
  • Watching new vehicle get flattened by a clunker with busted brakes: priceless.

The saga of Rep. Joe “You Lie!” Wilson wrapped up yesterday when the House officially disapproved of his conduct by a party-divided vote of 240-179. Perhaps New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd wasn’t the only one who heard “boy” tacked on at the end?

Unemployment is up and so, apparently, is the appeal of jumping in front of a Metro car—the transit agency has reported eight suicide attempts in 2009 alone, an increase from previous years.

MPD reports a fatal police shooting in the 1700 block of Trenton Place SE on Monday when officers confronted a knife-armed man who claimed, falsely, it turned out, to have murdered and gutted his sister.

The D.C. fire department has been paying friendly visits to those people who eat their daily morning Wheaties and then call – and call and call and call – 911. Last year, there were 30 people who telephoned the Fire and Emergency Medical Services a total of more than 2,000 time, and emergency officials think it’d, well, be better if they didn’t.

And finally, Kanye West cried on TV, claiming he felt bad for stealing teeny bopper Taylor Swift’s microphone at the MTV Video Music Awards. Clearly, this is his cover for being super ecstatic that Jay Leno is on prime time.