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Out: Book Burning

In: Bag Banning

The Great Dan Steinberg™’s write-up of the ill-will in the grandstands had great photos of the ill-willed.

Well, Steinberg’s Bog post had great photos when it was originally posted, anyway.

As several commenters pointed out, those photos of folks with anti-Snyder t-shirts and paperwork are now gone. Just vanished.

Who removed them? Why were they removed?

Steinberg wouldn’t tell me what happened. Questions were directed to his bosses at the Post’s sports section.

Uh oh.

The mind races. Everybody knows by now that the Washington Post ain’t one of Dan Snyder’s favorite organs.

But would Snyder really try to censor photos of the same bags that he tried to censor for Sunday’s game? I mean, Snyder’s pulled some stuff before, for sure, but if he’s behind Steinberg’s photo removal, that would have to rank among the Skins owner’s most Douchewellian™ moves of all time.

I’ve got messages into the Washington Post‘s* sports editors and the Redskins. Stay tuned to Cheap Seats Daily for continued coverage of PhotoGate™!

(AFTER THE JUMP: More tales of anti-bagging from FedExField? “Agent Zero” is the focus of WJFK’s ad campaign? Is “Agent Zero” the most penetrating nickname in Washington sports history? And it came from a City Paper guy? Guaranteed Win Night™ and R2D2 in the same post? Should I really bet the mortgage and then some on the Twins?)

More tales of anti-bagging at FedExField for the Tampa Bay game are showing up on Dan Snyder’s message board, extremeskins.com.

My favorite comes from a poster going by the name of Loren:

I came straight from the Army Ten-Miler to the game, didn’t have time to go home first, I had some sweaty clothes and other stuff (cell phone, camera, etc.) with me. As I was walking from the Metro I saw guys handing out the bag, and got offered one. I laughed and said “No thanks”. I think they’re funny, but don’t want to wear one this early in the season. Then, as I’m walking away, he goes “Come on man, you can carry your stuff in there.” Great idea! I thought about it for a second, and went back and got it, and threw my stuff in to make carrying it around a little easier.

Then, going into the gate, carrying my stuff in the paper bag (not wearing it, it didn’t even have holes cut in it, it was all wrinkled up from me carrying it around all tailgate), I was told I had to throw it out, so I had to take all my stuff out (sweaty clothes and all), and haul it around all game!

I mean, are you serious? Can this guy not take any heat? I understand that my first amendment rights weren’t violated (hell, I wasn’t even trying to make a statement, except maybe “Carrying around stuff in a bag is easier than carrying it around by hand”), and that I was on private property, and Snyder has the right to say what you can bring on his property. BUT, this is still so petty, so small, so pathetic, and things like this are EXACTLY why the message on the bags (hate the owner, love the team) is the prevailing sentiment among Redskins fans.

If I ever see anyone selling a t-shirt about how terrible Snyder is (without cursing or anything like that), I will buy it right away and wear it to any game I happen to go to.


WJFK has a new advertising campaign for its opening season of broadcasting Washington Wizards games.

The featured spot opens with a macabre voice saying: “Agent Zero and the Wizards… return to the  basketball court…for vengeance!”

“Agent Zero,” we all know, is Gilbert Arenas’ nickname. But the genesis of that handle is one of the coolest tales I’ve ever heard. Former City Paper graphic artist James Morris concocted Arenas’ moniker while writing for his great first-generation sports blog, Wizznutzz.

And it took off. It’s by far the biggest athletic nickname in town these days, and maybe of all time. And it’s all organic!

Everytime I hear somebody use “Agent Zero,” I think about Morris and smile.


The Run Run Differential Differential™ (R2D2), a fake statistic made up in this space  a few months ago purely to satisfy demand for digital column inches, turned into something great while nobody was paying attention.

But still, nobody’s paying attention. So we will now let R2D2inform another Cheap Seats Daily word-count gimmick that brought even more pleasure to the masses: Guaranteed Win Night™!

Most folks would look at the final AL Central standings and only notice that Minnesota and Detroit ended up with identical records, 86-76. But R2D2disciples would focus on how the Twins outscored the opposition by 51 runs on the season, while the Tigers put up 738 runs, but gave up one more, 739.

That means the Twins have a +52-run run differential differential with the Tigers.

Any baseball man will tell you pitching wins championships. But Cheap Seats Daily’s got another credo, made up just this second: R2D2 Wins Ballgames!

And in this one-game Twins/Tigers series to see who moves on to the playoffs, it would be irresponsible of us to sleep on that plus-52 R2D2 !

So, we’re sponsoring one more Guaranteed Win Night, and urging both our readers to bet the mortgage and then some on the Twins** for this evening’s play-in playoff game!

And, remember, if this tout doesn’t come in, you get the rest of the season free!


*Full disclosure: I freelance music reviews for the Washington Post.

**Don’t really bet the mortgage and then some on the Twins, dumbass…unless you’re one of those people who actually enjoys having crazy amounts of mad money just lying around!


Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com