Happy Hump-Day! I can see you slumping over and sleeping at your desk, so I’ve helpfully ended each news-blip with a BOOM, in honor of the Black Eyed Peas, Brett from FOTC, and the DC Metro transit system. Stay awake! Boom!

For those metro riders who have finally managed to assuage their fears of track-jumpers and crashed cars—stop reading. Prince of Petworth reports that there was more trouble on the red line yesterday. One witness said his car had “a series of explosions, with little fire and sparks everywhere.” Another mentioned a “loud BOOM!” and a decent cloud of smoke at Metro Center. And before that fiasco, the car reportedly stopped to let a sick passenger off the train. Coincidence? Metro says the train “lost one of its collector shoes”. My theory is that there was an X-Men/Heroes/Men in Black character on the train who beat up an invisible bad-guy, and than erased everyone’s memory. Draw your own conclusions. Boom!

Get ready for the same-sex marriage debate to take the District by storm—D.C. Council member David Catania introduced the bill on Tuesday. Somewhat diplomatically, the bill doesn’t require religious organizations to actually perform the marriages.  There will be a public hearing in October, and a preliminarily vote in December. Although same-sex marriages valid in other states have been recognized here since July, it’s hard to predict which way the wind will blow. Regardless, everyone is going to get drenched. Boom!

According to POLITICO, President Barack Obama has reaffirmed that the White House Olympic office will remain open, even though the US isn’t forecasted to host the Olympics until 2020—at the earliest. Okay, I know it probably isn’t logical, but just remembering President Obama skulk out of Copenhagen makes me hear small violins playing. It’s small consolation. Thoughts? Boom!

Winter is creeping up on fall—but don’t panic. There’s still plenty of time to dive into some cider-drinking, pumpkin-picking, plaid scarf fun: the Maryland Renaissance Fair is going on until Oct. 25, the Maryland Celtic Festival is coming, or you could even go metro-accessible camping like these sprightly college kids. Boom!

And finally, even Enya couldn’t calm down spa-goers in Bethesda when an 82-year-old woman plowed into a salon. According to WUSA, emergency responders believe the woman mixed up the accelerator and the brake. Boom—okay, not appropriate. Luckily, no one was seriously injured.

Don’t you feel awake now? Washington City Paper: Stronger than your morning coffee.

Photo by KM Photography, Creative Commons License