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Every day I think, I can no longer bear to read another story eviscerating Redskins ownership. Then something as marvelous as Mike Wise‘s profile of John Kent Cookearises, and I think, I will happily read about this team for the rest of my life!

Ladies and gentlemen, the Kent Cookes! The landed gentry of Middleburg, Va., by way of a Canadian encyclopedia salesman made a United States citizen by an act of congress! They had a town named after them, and then they didn’t! Late-night rides through Georgetown with a boy-toy clinging to the hood of a Jaguar! Throwing shoes at cops! Angry wills! John Kent Cooke was supposed to run the Redskins, and then he wasn’t!

You can blame Dan Snyder for a lot of things. But foremost has to be depriving us of this family through his “appalling” use of the same free market system that brought them to us.

Other stuff is happening, too. Korean exorcisms, for instance. (Joe Eaton, where are you on this?) The country’s least consequential gubernatorial race (1) (2)! MoDos in Crystal City! Booty walls! Check out the Web this morning, it has a ton of great stuff!

BIKE COMMUTING CORNER. Cars try to hit bicycles. They often succeed! Commuters try to defend themselves with high-visibility clothing. But sometimes a blindingly yellow jacket is not la chose juste. Dude. Get yourself some neon stickers. A couple on your helmet, one on your fender, maybe on your bag? You can provide just enough visibility to have a case in your lawsuit.

Dang! Out of time! I’m bounceville! Follow me on Twitter!