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Like locusts swarming from above, a new (pink) cupcake truck and New York-based Crumbs Bake Shop are showering the District with more overpriced, nauseatingly cute cupcakes. Does this mean we have to suffer through another dreadful Washington Post war? Matt, commenting on Prince of Petworth, says: “I see sub-prime cupcake crisis coming! Cupcake bailout?”

Undoubtedly the result of the massive cupcake crisis, WTOP reports that federal and retail positions are being inundated with an unprecedented number of job applications—some federal positions that previously attracted 25 applicants are now getting up to 400. Accompanying the article is a photo of a handsome, sneering man who is clearly thinking: “You won’t even get a job at a cupcake place! Have fun decorating your cardboard box, intern.”

The city is distributing more than 122,000 plastic reusable bags to low-income residents to prepare them for the 5-cent bag fee that goes into effect Jan. 1. Mayor Adrian M. Fenty says it’s for the “Skip the Bag, Save the River” campaign, but really it’s due to the massive cupcake shortage! Start stockpiling those crumbs!

Americans are rediscovering frugality and spending money only on life’s staples: specifically, canned beans and Sarah Palin‘smemoir, which was officially released yesterday. Clearly, the cupcake-crazed are already going rogue.

And finally, the New York Daily News offers evidence that Clint Eastwood is not very impressed by the rogue cupcake crisis: He lamented to GQ that “it seems like our country is in kind of a morbid mood because of the recession or whatever…we have a bunch of teenage twits.”

Photo by Bev, Creative Commons Attribution License