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Fabulous thread from the entertaining putzes at Dan Snyder’s fan forum, ExtremeSkins.com. What started out as yet another rant against Larry Michael, the team’s play-by-play announcer, turned into message board magic.

The member known as MWCRedskins got things going by posting “Larry Michael Must Go!” a tirade against Michael, who has long been Public Enemy No. 3 — behind Dan Snyder and Vinny Cerrato — among Skins fans.

MWC wrote:

The guy is an embarrassment to this franchise. He’s is the sleeziest person you will ever meet and treats fans like . I’m tired of his act. Plus he’s a terrible announcer. He’s the one with the”dark heart”” I want him replaced. Rumors about Mike Patrick last year, that would be so awesome because I can’t stand the sight or sound of Larry Michael. Fire Vinny but also Fire Larry Michael”

As always, that opened the doors to a bunch of Larry Michael Sucks! type posts. But amid all the usual grounding and pounding of Michael, another poster, Teddy833, came to Michael’s rescue by disclosing some opposition research about the OP:

The only reason MWCREDSKINS is saying this stuff about Larry is because he came to Redskins Late Night [a Dan Snyder-produced TV infomercial that Michael emcees] last night with numerous things to get signed and Albert haynesworth had to go so he couldn’t get them all signed. MWC then proceeded to kick a 3ft x 2ft hole in a pillar out side the restaurant and then he ran away. We found him later in the parking lot and security and the police handled the rest of it.

The plot sickens!

(AFTER THE JUMP: The pillar deserved it? Is there an age-limit for use of the poopie icon? Len Bias’ NBA career woulda sucked? Dan Steinberg, Dave Donovan, and Louis Farrakhan? What’s wrong with Kansas City?)

The ExtremeSkins mob then turned all its hate on autograph hounds in general and specifically MWCRedskins, who lists himself as a 36-year-old from Sterling, Va. Members came forward to say, yeah, this MWC dude’s a freaky douche who brings shopping bags of souvenirs to every Redskins event and makes a scene if they don’t all get autographed.

The fantastical part came when somebody posted a photo (shown above) taken the night earlier of the damage MWC caused during his latest tirade, after Michael shut down autograph signing to call it a night.

When MWCRedskins reappeared in the thread to defend himself, going so far as to blame the pillar for the damage he inflicted on it, the unintentional comedy was overbearing:

I’m a fan who loves this team and I was just frustrated I spent $25 on a mini helmet bought at the show to get signed as a Christmas present for my brother and I waited for an hour for Larry basically to lowball me. I shouldn’t have done what I did and I realize that. If that pillar is cement none of this even happens.

Again, this is from a 36-year-old guy. (A poopie icon, MWC?) His brain could fit in that minihelmet with room to spare. But as these fan boards go, the reading really doesn’t get any better.

***

Via WSJ’s The Fix: Len Bias remains a hot topic, 23 years and some change after his fatal drug overdose. Last week Bill Paine of basketball-reference.com, kinda the Baseball Prospectus for hoop-stats obsessives, dug deep into Bias’ college numbers to see if anything there would predict how his NBA career would have gone.

After crunching all the numbers, Paine’s conclusion? Death did wonders for Bias’ legacy.

I’m not saying he would be a bust or even that it would have been impossible for him to be a star, but I am saying that we might have allowed Bias’ tragic and untimely passing to distort the way we viewed his potential. Just like anyone who died before their time, there’s the tendency to idealize the person and put them up on a pedestal, projecting onto them everything we wished and hoped they could someday be. In Bias’ case, what my dad and so many other Celtics fans wanted was for him to become Larry Bird’s heir at the helm of the Boston dynasty. Unfortunately, given his important performance indicators in college, that probably wasn’t the most realistic expectation in basketball history.

But but but but but!!!!!!

Paine put a ton of work into his Bias study. I just rooted for him for four years at Maryland. My guess now is the same, and just as facts-proof, as it was the day he died: Bias woulda been awesome!

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Speaking of using numbers to twist reality: Remind me to get the Great Dan Steinberg a calculator this holiday season. He’s carrying the one in very unusual ways lately.

In a post yesterday, TGDS threw out all sorts of digits and stats while asking readers to conclude that one of Skins COO David “Yeah, That’s the Ticket” Donovan’s whoppers, the one about Redskins Nation being same as it ever was this season, was really true. Wow. TGDS relied on data from the Harris Interactive poll on the popularity of NFL teams to make his point.

My fave graf:

So disregarding Kansas City, the top 10 ratings were drawn by Dallas, Indianapolis, the Giants, Chicago, New England, Philadelphia, Green Bay, Pittsburgh, Washington and Miami. Which of these teams have the longest Super Bowl droughts? Yup, it’s Washington and Miami again.

Well, TGDS, I learned long ago that if you have to disregard Kansas City to make your point, you don’t have a point.

Steinberg’s been on a digits jag lately, the extremest example being his fixation with how “26” factored into the Redskins 2009 season.

But this outta-left-field defense of Donovan’s drivel has gotta be the bizarrest use of numbers this town has seen since Louis Farrakhan’s Million Man March babble-on.

Let’s revisit Farrakhan’s speech for a sec:

“There, in the middle of this mall is the Washington Monument, 555 feet high. But if we put a one in front of that 555 feet, we get 1555, the year that our first fathers landed on the shores of Jamestown, Virginia as slaves.In the background is the Jefferson and Lincoln Memorial, each one of these monuments is 19 feet high. Abraham Lincoln, the sixteenth president. Thomas Jefferson, the third president, and 16 and three make 19 again. What is so deep about this number 19? Why are we standing on the Capitol steps today? That number 19 — when you have a nine you have a womb that is pregnant. And when you have a one standing by the nine, it means that there’s something secret that has to be unfolded.”

Wowie. Farrakhan never really took enough shit for that speech. Must be because he didn’t disregard Kansas City.

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