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Apologies for all those faithful readers who count on seeing this classic annual City Desk series hit the Web a bit earlier in the holiday season, the better to steer people away from reckless gifting decisions.

That said, let’s get right into it, via ever-reliable supplier of ridiculous implements and innovations Hammacher Schlemmer. To begin with, how could any company so named do anything well. (Oops, I work for Creative Loafing Inc., so I guess I should retract that last swipe.)

Today we’re featuring Hammacher Schlemmer’s stainless steel wallet. Take a good two or three minutes to feast your eyes on this gem:

Now there’s a space-age wallet for ya. And that’s no coincidence, either. Based on the description provided by Hammacher Schlemmer, this beaut is “woven using 25,000 flexible stainless-steel threads that are three times thinner than a piece of paper—.001″” and is of the same “metal fabric found in the architecture, aerospace, and automotive industries.”

Other selling points: it’s resistant to “corrosive materials such as salts, acids, and seawater.” Right there is a timely feature, because just this morning, I was complaining to a friend about how my current wallet was getting walloped by all kinds of acids and seawater. Just killing the damn thing.

WE’RE BURYING THE LEDE HERE! This wallet also “passively resists radio-frequency hacking—-the latest identity theft technique that attempts to scan newer credit cards.”

Finally: If you had any doubts as to how innovative this stainless steel wallet is, just know that Hammacher Schlemmer calls it the “Only Stainless Steel Wallet.”

What’s next—-The Only Stainless Steel Pillow? The Only Stainless Steel Handkerchief? The Only Stainless Steel U-trou?