Why doesn’t D.C. drop a ball?

Not to be like New York or anything (though have you heard that this year’s Times Square ball is “covered in 2,668 Waterford Crystals and powered by 32,256 Philips Luxeon Rebel LEDS, making it capable of creating a palette of more than 16 million vibrant colors and billions of patterns producing a spectacular kaleidoscope effect”?).

But surely the powers-that-be here could come up with something to drop from the sky to ring in the new year. It doesn’t have to be a ball: A giant LOVE stamp used to descend from the Old Post Office tower.

Atlanta drops a peach. Tallapoosa, Ga., drops a possum. Port Clinton, Ohio, drops a walleye fish (“Reel in the New Year”). Raleigh, N.C., drops an acorn. Lebanon, Pa., drops bologna.

In Plymouth, Wisc., “where cheese is famous,” an 80-pound decorated cheese wedge will descend from a 100-foot ladder truck. Mobile, Ala., will not lower a 600-pound lighted MoonPie (the “world’s largest”), but rather raise it.

Fredericksburg, Va., used to drop a pear, but this year they’ve switched to a pineapple!

Come on, D.C. Drop something.