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It’s Friday!

Today, there is no other place to start but here: the weather (the roads are just wet for now, but there is still a chance you need to panic). Also, road closures and the March for Life. You going?

Next: Howard Kurtz‘s story in the Washington Post this morning about how the National Enquirer plans to submit its reporting on the John Edwards fathering-a-baby-by-a-staffer-no-really-he-did-even-though-he-denies-it-see-I-told-you-so scandal for journalism’s highest prize, the Pulitzer.

Writes Kurtz in his second paragraph:

Don’t laugh.

“It’s clear we should be a contender for this,” Barry Levine said by phone Thursday, hours after the former presidential candidate admitted what the paper had been reporting all along: that he is the father of Rielle Hunter‘s baby. “The National Enquirer, a supermarket tabloid, was able to publish this reporting.”

From The Enquirer‘s Web site: “NATIONAL ENQUIRER investigation vindicated as former Senator John Edwards FINALLY admits to the world what The ENQUIRER has been telling you all along that John Edwards IS the father of his mistress Rielle Hunter‘s love child, Frances Quinn.” All that punctuation and bolding: theirs. I’ve never seen an “IS” that big!

You can also read in the Enquirer about Tiger Woods undergoing sex rehab at an “out-of-the-way Mississippi facility.” (Pictures here). Like Kurtz said—and he seemed really sincere—don’t laugh. They got it right about Edwards.

Speaking of checkbook journalism, check out City Paper’s photos from the George Michael funeral at the National Cathedral yesterday

How much money does it take a guy to shut up about how much he hates his bosses? (Yes, this is about Conan.) We’ll see if $45 million does it. “We wanted to give him a graceful exit. Hopefully he will be graceful,” Jeff Gaspin, chairman of NBC Universal Television Entertainment, told the Wall Street Journal. Graceful is definitely not a word I’d use to describe Conan, but if anything can buy grace, $45 million can.

Conan’s final show airs tonight. Maybe now we can all move on with our lives.