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With the District’s unemployment rate reaching 12.1 percent in December, any government job opening is sure to attract a good number of resumes. For the many job hunters out there, let us point you to a particularly cushy assignment.

The D.C. Police Department is looking to hire a “Freedom Of Information Act Specialist.” The job’s pay range is between $42,000 and $54,000. The work hours are a pretty standard 8:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. We can’t think of an easier job opportunity! You have one more day to apply!

You would essentially be managing a black hole—-the place where FOIA requests disappear never to be seen again. Since the departure of the beloved Sgt. Joe Gentile, the police’s FOIA operation appears to be handled by a very mean robot who simply spits out form letter rejections.

This part of the job description says it all:

“The incumbent will also be responsible for developing and preparing routine written responses to requests filed under the FOIA Acts, and protecting individuals privacy in accordance with the PA relative to the dissemination of information.”

In translation, can you spit out form letters denying FOIA requests? If so, here are the reasons you should get used to citing:

1) Your FOIA is being rejected because it has been deemed overly broad in scope.
2) Your FOIA is being rejected because it involves “work product.”
3) Your FOIA is being rejected because it concerns personnel records.
4) Your FOIA is being rejected because it concerns issues related to Homeland Security.

Apply today!

*file photo by Darrow Montgomery.