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Mad Max: A man on the Metropolitan Police Department’s 6th District listserv was psyched to see a pick-up charging along his street despite the snow—or so he thought. The man, who identified himself as Christopher Jerry, wrote that he spotted the four-wheel-drive truck as it made its way down the 2400 block of T Street SE. After not seeing a single vehicle on his street since late Friday night, he said, it made him happy.

Unfortunately, the elation was short-lived. At the bottom of his street—near 24th Place SE—the  driver stopped his truck, got out, and dumped “a lot of stuff including a mattress,” according to Jerry. Acting MPD Captain Keith DeVille responded that police will be watching for the vehicle, which Jerry described as a two-toned blue-and-yellow pickup truck with a Maryland license plate.

Boing!: A man was walking in the 1600 block of P Street NW at around 9:30 p.m. on Feb. 1 when two alleged muggers came up behind him and hit him with an unidentified object. The victim fell to the ground. The duo stole $200.

Ahem, A Little Privacy?: The same day, a resident came home to a dwelling in the 3800 block of Yuma Street NW at around 8 p.m. to find an intruder on the second floor. The intruder commanded the resident to leave. The resident complied, and went to a neighbor’s house and called the cops.

AU…Move: A student-aid counselor at American University became the victim of a simple assault on Feb. 8. At around 3 a.m., he was intentionally bumped by a student in an A.U. hallway. The allegedly brassy student appeared to be drunk. Police were contacted and are on the lookout for a 19-year-old white man with blond hair and blue eyes. Cops say the victim was uninjured by the encounter. It’s unclear whether  the bumping occurred as a result of a dispute.

Snowpocalypse Beatdown: Despite the District having been hit by a snownami, two males managed to beef with another male on the 3900 block of 14th Street NW at around 9:30 p.m. on Feb. 8. Police say the two argued with the male before beating him up. 6-D cops arrived and cuffed the beaters, charging them with assault with intent to kill.  Commander Kimberly Chisley-Missouri says “The severity of the assault and witness and victim accounts of what happened led to the charge.”

My What Violates What?: A Bethesda neighborhood became a little less fun. The Washington Examiner reports that Montgomery County authorities have put a stop to a monthly sex party at 6304 Tone Drive because the soirees violate zoning laws.

Source: MPD District listservs, public releases