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How did the Tony Kornheiser/Hannah Storm story get so huge?

Storm must have bigger friends than Kornheiser, because, man o mano, did ESPN throw him under the bandwagon. For calling Storm’s on-air wardrobe “horrifying,” he’s been suspended from hosting PTI for two weeks.

Two weeks? Hell, Juan Marichal only got nine games for clubbing Johnny Roseboro over the head with a baseball bat.

Jack Shafer in Slate goes over Kornheiser’s thin-skinned past, the highlight for me coming when he recalls the time Kornheiser went all Hannah Storm on my ass over something I wrote in City Paper. (Have I told that “Me and Tony Kornheiser” story here? This week, I mean?)

(Shafer, BTW, wants to go all Juan Marichal on my noggin for a factually dubious and un-Shafer-proofed column I wrote about high school swimming, which he found far more horrifying than Hannah Storm’s boots-and-plaid ensemble. I can only apologize! Take me back, Jack!)

***

Another mascot heads off to that great No Longer Cool Mascot Party in the sky: Ole Miss is about done with its phasing out of Colonel Reb, a character from a time when men owned men. The Colonel hasn’t been at football games in years, but no caricature, racially charged or otherwise, has replaced him.

Now, students at the school of a Faulkner and two Mannings say they want a vote in the selection process.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Haven’t Mississippi students picked mascots before? How’d that work out? Sam Bradford will be the highest rated redskin in the draft? Doesn’t that sound ugly? Are you going to trot out “If You Own the Washington Redskins You’re a Cock” again? LaDainian Tomlinson provides first test of Dan Snyder’s backseatedness?)

‘Course, last time the school put its mascotting up to a vote, in 1938, it ended up with Colonel Reb.

How long before you make the mascot move, Dan Snyder? How long?

This “Redskins” issue is going to keep coming up leading up to the NFL draft. Some folks still think the Redskins will take Sam Bradford.

I’ve typed it before and I’ll type it again: Bet the Escalade payment and then some* that Snyder WILL NOT take Bradford, even if the Oklahoma quarterback is still on the board at No. 4.

Bradford’s family has roots in the Cherokee Nation —  and he has become a heroic figure to its people in his days as a Sooners star. He has avoided discussing his feelings on the name “Redskins,” though several interviewers have asked. In 2008, the New York Times wrote a story about a pow-wow Bradford had with a tribe leader, and said the QB’s great-great grandmother was a member named Susie Walkingstick.

From that piece:

Bradford is followed fervently at Sequoyah Schools, an Indian boarding school for grades 7-12 that is financed by the Bureau of Indian Affairs and operated by the Cherokee Nation.

Tucked away on a sprawling campus near the Cherokee Nation’s headquarters, Sequoyah Schools has 380 students, of which 261 are Cherokee Nation citizens. There, students wear Oklahoma football T-shirts, football players talk about which of them could be the next Bradford, and female students swoon at the mention of his name.

“He’s cute,” said Shelby Botone, 16, a 10th-grader who is primarily Creek and Cherokee. “He’s like perfect.”

Smith, the Cherokee Nation chief, said Bradford’s success had provided much-needed inspiration for Cherokee youth. Bradford’s demeanor is similar to that of Cherokee elders, he said. “He’s a great example of simple, quiet, humble leadership,” Smith said.

Ross Reeder, a tight end and defensive end at Sequoyah Schools, said he felt an immediate connection when he learned that Bradford was also Cherokee.

“It’s pretty cool to see an Indian in such a high limelight,” said Reeder, 17, who is three-thirty-seconds Cherokee. “It’s a very rare thing.”

Reeder would like to meet Bradford and hoped he would someday visit Sequoyah Schools. Reeder even said Bradford’s play was helping Indians shed stereotypes that have haunted them.

“Sam Bradford is kind of like he’s the best of Indians,” Reeder said. “He shows that we’re not lazy and that we don’t give up. He’s what we really represent.”

It’s all about role models. There is no way in hell Dan Snyder will want to deal with this issue. So if Bradford somehow ends up here, posing as so many Redskins players do with Chief Zee with his headdress and fake tomahawk, that’d be a good sign that Mike Shanahan really is calling the shots.

And things’ll be interesting as all get out.

But, again, that ain’t going to happen.

***

In the Examiner, Rick Snider says we might know before the draft how much sway Dan Snyder (no relation) has in personnel matters. Snider says we should all follow the footprints of LaDainian Tomlinson, the regular-season Hall of Famer/postseason Houdini who was cut by the Chargers earlier this week.

From the piece:

L.T. would have been a perfect free agent signing for owner Dan Snyder a few years ago. Snyder spent more time watching falling stars than NASA scientists. Deion Sanders, Bruce Smith and Mark Carrier started the big-money decade. Albert Haynesworth finally reached the $100 million level last season.”

If Redskins 1 tracks anywhere near San Diego, it’s bad business as usual at Redskins Park.

Before we go, it is my duty to once again tout the brilliance of Atom and His Package’s “If You Own the Washington Redskins, You’re a Cock.

***

*Don’t really bet the Escalade payment that Snyder won’t take Bradford…unless you’d like to make May’s Escalade payment with FREE MONEY!

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com