City Paper is not for tourists
Good morning, Friday! After work today, it’s the weekend! Thank you, labor unions!
Have you heard the one about the fake 140-year-old hot dog?
How Batman kicked Superman’s ass? (“Holy ass-kicking, Batman!”)
How pot dealers prefer FedEx to UPS (“I mean, if you absolutely, positively have to get stoned overnight, I guess it’s the way to go,” says the Post‘s Petula Dvorak) but the USPS over both?
Actually, the story behind that last item is worth a closer look.
According to Politico, Melanie Sloan, a former federal prosecutor who works for the Center for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (responsibility? ethics?), was cooking dinner and watching her 11-month-old on Monday night when a FedEx guy showed up at the door with a package. It looked weird. It had only her Capitol Hill address on it, not her name, and it came from a mailing center in Anaheim, Calif.
She and her husband weren’t expecting anything, but what the heck, who doesn’t love an unexpected package? They set about opening it. It took 10 minutes, which was probably the first clue it wasn’t a handmade knit hat for the baby.
Sloan and her husband cut through layers of insulation normally used in ceilings – which led them to believe there was an explosive inside. But the next level was a “huge oval wrapped in a zillion layers of plastic wrap.” It was then they smelled coffee, which is often used to cover the scent of drugs. And as a former Assistant United States Attorney in the District of Columbia, Sloan knew what was inside.
When she called the police, 12 showed up at her door. And they shot a series of photos of the huge block of pot. “They’re used to seeing dime bags,” Sloan joked.
One more thing: It has been reported to me by a top secret source that the print-edition City Papers were missing from their normal spot in the Rosslyn Metro station yesterday. Did you see them, Jim Brady?