Did you rage this weekend? If not, did you get your living room spackled, sanded, and primed? Did you spend so much time listening to 105.9 the Edge that you found yourself thinking things like, On third listen, I adjudge that the bass line of “Living on a Prayer” is the most important part of the song? Are you me?

No? THEN LET’S RAGE!

1) RAGE AGAINST HEALTHCARE; RAGE AGAINST ANTI HEALTHCARE RAGERS. Universal-healthcare proponents had two victories this weekend, one courtesy a vote and another courtesy some Tea Party protesters who went Mel Gibson on members of congress. It reminds me of what a friend said about John Rocker after he flamed out: “Put a redneck in front of a microphone, this is what happens.” This friend lives in the same town as John Rocker and avoids microphones. 2) RAGE AGAINST IMMIGRATION NONACTION. Of all the things Obama hasn’t gotten done, this is…one of them.

3) RAGE AGAINST THE WARS IN IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN. And yes, in case you were wondering, this protest did bring out the guy on stilts dressed like Uncle Sam.

4) RAGE IN RUSSIA. This was rage against Putin, in 11 cities, but they called it Day of Wrath because dayofrage.com was taken.

5) RAGE AGAINST THE WASHINGTON POST Oh my god if I read one more Andy Alexander item about this I’m gonna write in to complain. March 9. March 11. Today. I am not celebrating this celebration of the “celebration” of gay marriage!

6) MARYLAND RAGES AGAINST WINNING. On the plus side, no reports of a riot as of Sunday night at 11:13.

7) RAGE AGAINST OUTSIDE-THE-BELTWAY TYPES: Arlington man wins National Marathon. Arlington way to go!

8) NATS RAGE AGAINST JESUS and send him to Pennsylvania. Hope you like pretzels, Jesus!

9) NOT RAGE BUT FASCINATING: T.C. Williams in Alexandria sends 80 percent of its students to college. It’s in the top 4 percent of U.S. high schools for AP placement. And it’s been deemed “persistently low achieving” and faces radical surgery. In today’s Outlook, T.C. teacher Patrick Welsh writes a typically sharp column about the school, torching Alexandria for enrolling “newly arrived” 18- to 20-year-old immigrants in high school; “Had we done as Arlington and Fairfax counties do and offered them enrollment in an adult education program, their Standards of Learning scores would not have counted, and it’s very unlikely that T.C. would have gotten the ‘persistently low achieving’ label. We would also be serving those students better.” He also briefly tells the story of Alexandria’s star-crossed effort nearly 13 years ago to create an alternative school for kids who aren’t making it in T.C. Activists thought it was racist; the plan sunk.

Photo by Flickr user ep_jhu