It’s that time again, readers. Yep, it’s Friday, everybody’s favorite day of the week. Let’s take a look at what’s going on in the world.

In addition to today being Friday, it’s also April 23—Shakespeare‘s birthday. And his deathday, 52 years later. That’s right, Shakespeare was born and he died on the same day. Though the exact day of his birth—like seemingly so many aspects of his life and work—remains a historical estimate. 

A little closer to home, it’s not cool (or legal) to drink and bike, according to the D.C. Court of Appeals. According to the eight-page opinion, it’s also illegal to ride “draft animals or beasts of burden” while intoxicated. So, for all you Loudon County residents thinking of taking your horse into the District for your next night on the town, better to leave it in the stables.

Yesterday was Earth Day. The United States actually “only” ranks ninth in the world in carbon dioxide emissions per capita, with Middle Eastern countries nabbing ignominiously assuming the top the top four spots. Nationally, Virginia ranks twelfth and Maryland ranks nineteenth. Suburbanites: In this case, ranking lower = better.

The NFL draft was last night, and the Redskins, with the fourth pick, chose left tackle Trent Williams out of the University of Oklahoma. In the surprise of the draft, Christian right posterboy and 2007 Heisman Trophy winner Tim Tebow, who won two national championships in his career with Florida, was picked 25th.

Tonight: Even if you typically want to avoid tourists and teenagers, Chinatown’s still the place to be, as the Caps take on the Canadiens at the Verizon Center in a potentially series-clinching game five in the NHL playoffs.

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