We know D.C. Get our free newsletter to stay in the know.

When a stranger appeared out of the dark  and stuck a dark-colored semi-automatic handgun in his face last week, actor-turned-Obama staffer Kal Penn coolly responded, “What do you need?”  To which, the armed mugger replied, “Everything, turn around & get down on the ground.”

That’s according to the official police report of the incident, obtained by City Desk.

Another tidbit you might not already know about Penn’s hugely publicized mugging back on April 20:  the actor, 33, whom the report identifies by his given name, Kalpen Suresh Modi, not only handed over his iPhone and Blackberry (one reportedly owned by the U.S. government), $180 in cash, three credit/debit cards, his D.C. driver’s license, and his federal I.D. card. He also relinquished a personal item listed under “purse, briefcase, wallet, backpack,” bearing the label “Roots,” which cops further described as black in color and made of “cloth & velcro.”

City Desk presumes police are referring to “Canada’s leading lifestyle brand.”

The investigation is ongoing.

Photo by SAITOR, Creative Commons Attribution License