In hockey, this week was the worst
The Caps seem to really be cursed
Game 7: they choked
Got totally smoked
An outcome in which they’re well-versed

Farewell to the late Dorothy Height
(Whose hats could both awe and delight)
The eulogy, tender
Showed speech-giving splendor
From start to the final sound bite

The teachers continue to wonder
If talks are just doomed to go under
Since Gandhi won’t say
The city can pay
Does that tear this contract asunder?

A really sick way to get kicks
Is killing a possum with bricks
But here is some scratch
For helping to catch
Those morally bankrupted dicks