Fatal Fall: A George Washington University student has died after falling from a fifth-floor dormitory window, according to the GW Hatchet. On Sunday at around 4 a.m, Taylor Hubbard, 20, fell from a window located in Guthridge Hall. Cops believe there was no foul play involved. The Hatchet talked to one of the students who discovered Hubbard after the tragic plummet:

Senior Jenn Choi said she was walking back to South Hall when she and her friends found a male sprawled out on the grass in Guthridge Park.’ As we were walking along the way we saw this guy who was face up on the grass and we thought maybe he was just drunk and we kind of looked to see if he was ok,” Choi said. “But then we realized he was erratically breathing and that his wrist was swollen and he had cuts on his arm, and then we realized we had to call 911…’

Though he was whisked off to the hospital, Hubbard was gravely injured and didn’t make it. A high school buddy of Hubbard’s, Timothy Bartsch, tells City Desk in an email that he played soccer and lacrosse with the deceased: “He was a great kid. very smart, the type of kid that would do anything for you,” says Bartsch.

And You Wonder Why She Only Dates Mature Guys: Montgomery County police report that a teenager sexually assaulted an older woman after she rebuffed his advances. The assault happened on May 1 in the 1200 block of First Street in Rockville at around 1:30 p.m.: “An adult female victim was walking from the Metro when the suspect approached.  He said he was sixteen years old and the victim told him she was twenty-one years old and he needed to move on. The suspect touched the woman inappropriately and fled towards Gude Drive.”

To Catch a Bike Thief: Crackjack bike thieves may be on the loose on Capitol Hill. A member of the New Hill East email discussion group, Marika, writes on May 15 that, despite the fact that her condo has an attendant, a video camera, an automatic door,  four expensive bikes were stolen from the building’s garage:

“Each bike had both a Kryptonite lock and a heavy chain lock. The thief knew exactly what he was looking for — he only took the valuable bikes — and came equipped with an industrial blow torch or a diamond saw, which according to the police is the only way to remove all those locks. So beware, there are professional thieves on the lookout for bikes on the Hill as well as the regular opportunists.”

Now, that’s Really Disorderly: A man tried to grab a police officer’s gun on May 14, at around 2:15 a.m. in the 1200 block of Connecticut Avenue NW. Cops say the officer was attempting to interview the suspect in reference to a report of disorderly conduct: “That’s when the suspect became combative and attempted to take the officer’s issued service weapon.” The officer subdued and arrested the perp.

Tune In, Turn Up, Cop Bout: At approximately 11:08 p.m. on May 14, cops Ebony Richardson and Cosandra Carr showed up at a house in the 3000 block of Brinkley Road in Temple Hills, Md., in response to a loud noise complaint.  They asked the occupants of the house to turn the music down, and they did. But before the officers got to their car, the volume went up again. When the officers returned to the house, the officers were allegedly assaulted. Backup soon arrived and eight people were arrested.