Morning, all. Happy Friday! Let’s take a look at what’s going on in the world.

Oil continues to invade the Louisiana coast, though BP asserts their clean-up efforts—which includes a “junk shot” of golf balls, old tires, and the like, intended to fill the damaged blow-out preventer on the ocean floor—are working. Um, junk shot? Even if they’re not going to rethink their solution to the spill, they might rethink what they call it.

President Obama hosted his second state dinner Wednesday, for Mexico’s president Felipe Calderón, and this one apparently went off without a hitch. Rick Bayless, of Frontera Grill fame, prepared a delicious sounding menu. Wagyu beef in a Oaxacan black Mole, and graham cracker crumble with goat cheese ice cream? Yes, please. And Michelle, per usual, looked great, although not everyone seems to agree.

The good news: DCPS distributes condoms to high school students. The bad news: the condoms are too small. High schoolers, and others who obtain publicly-distributed condoms in D.C., will soon be shielding their swords with Magnums. Though exposure to lead-laden drinking water may have effected D.C. youths’ brains, at least it doesn’t seem to have affected their penis sizes.

This day in history: Montenegrins voted for independence from the State Union of Serbia and Montenegro in 2006. (Wonder how they’re feeling now that Serbia’s in the World Cup and they’re not.) Former Indian prime minister Rajiv Gandhi was assassinated by a suicide bomber in 1991. Mr. T (born Laurence Tureaud) was born in 1952.

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