In pushing through legislation to legalize medical marijuana this month, D.C. Councilmember David Catania promised “a tightly regulated system that will ensure that we do not see the types of abuses that have occurred elsewhere.”

Say, Denver, for instance, where medical pot shops have proliferated in recent months, as The Daily Show‘s Jason Jones so colorfully illustrates below.

The District may be limited to just five legal weed shops citywide, under the new law, whereas Denver may have five on a single block! But imagine the possibilities: a 20,000-square-foot weed superstore, selling 24-karat gold “medical accessories.” It even has its own spa!

Many dispensary operators themselves are disgusted by their own industry’s excesses. “Some of these people who are coming into this industry don’t care about the plant, and they’re really after, you know, the buck,” one proprietor complains to Jones.  Another takes issue with the sorts of brand names the supposed medicine providers are marketing. Consider: AK-47Trainwreck, Greencrack. “Nobody wants crack,” one legal weed seller says. “We call it Green Fuzzy Bunnies.”

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