No secret, they target elites With tasty (and overpriced) eats The yuppies will revel They’ve reached a new level: A station for only smoked meats

The soda tax met its demise For reasons that most can surmise M. Cheh could have  scored With Freeman on board But not with those industry cries

Oh whoopsy, the CDC said There’s news that we shouldn’t have spread We told you no sweat There wasn’t a threat From crazy high levels of lead

The District is switching their brand To something a little less bland The wrapper is shiny And also less tiny The impetus? student demand