Good morning, folks. In case you missed it, oil’s still gushing into our ocean, and the trial of Joe Price, Victor Zaborsky and Dylan Ward, charged with conspiracy, obstruction of justice and tampering with evidence in connection to the August 2006 murder of Robert Wone, continues today. Between knives, interrogation videos and a $1.2 million townhouse on Swann Street in Northwest–who needs Law and Order?

Strangers with candy never gets old. A Prince George’s County school bus driver was charged with producing child pornography yesterday. Silly man forgot his memory card filled with naked photos of a 7-year-old boy, reports WaPo. The memory card was left at the counter of a 7-Eleven in Clinton. The boy, identified by investigators, said Scott Smallwood, 27, was his “night” bus driver:

“…someone who “took him to church,” the records say.…The boy told officials that he had “sleepovers” with Smallwood and that Smallwood offered him candy.”

On the downside, venomous snakes are getting in early bites in Fairfax County this year. Copperhead snake sightings and non-fatal bites already abound–an uncommon occurrence. Infant snakes usually start slithering from their eggs between August and October. With all the weather confusion, they’re probably just as confused as we are.

So between the stabbings, bitings and late-night bus rides, the man dying from chewing crack cocaine may have had it easy. At least it was painless? But he probably should have stuck with candy.

In other news, Metro is fucking old people over, and do people seriously believe vodka eyeballing is a new trend? I mean, teenagers do stupid things, but come on. Really??? It’s about as smart as bro-icing.

The state of the world consistently befuddles me. Have a good day, everyone.

Photo by mateoutah. Creative Commons Attribution License.