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City Paper’s Unsolicited Political Advice of the Week

The candidate: Vincent Gray, mayoral hopeful

The challenge: Youropponent is trying to tie you to the early 1990s, one of the mostignominious periods in modern D.C. history, when you served in the failed administration of Mayor Sharon Pratt. Expect this to be a recurring theme his attacks. In an interview with City Desk, your spokesperson Traci Hughes assures that you will “lay out point-by-point how Mayor Fenty is presenting falsehoods in an effort to win reelection.”

But that just might not be good enough. So here we present some suggested talking points:

The biographical solution: “Early ‘90s? At my age, I’m more about the early ‘60s!”

Turn the critique into a compliment: “So my former boss lost the Redskins. Big deal! Thanks to us, D.C. doesn’t have to call itself the home to Daniel Snyder!”

Accuse the accuser: “I’m early ‘90s? Hey, Fenty is the guy who’s always doing the Running Man!”

Go wonky: “It seems to me that the early ‘90s were known for a mayor who let the budget get out of control. Look in the mirror, Adrian!”

If things really get desperate: If you really are good friends with your former patron, surely you can pick up the phone and ask Pratt to do you one little favor: Endorse Fenty!

*Michael Schaffer contributed to this blog post.

*photo courtesy of People Magazine.