So how come they always made me wait for a table?

The D.C. ESPNZone is closing, along with all but the Southern California outposts of the sportscentric food chain.

They’ll be shuttered by the end of next week.

I figured up to now that our local ESPNZone was doing fab, only because I had to stand near the entrance for a couple innings or quarters whenever I went to watch something there.

‘Course, I don’t remember anything I ever ate. The menu items were irrelevant, because you couldn’t hear yourself eat over the clings and clangs from the game rooms or even see what you’re shoving in your pie-hole through all the TV glare.

On a self-serving note: The ESPNZone failure gives the owner of Washington City Paper, which also became the parent company of Bennigan’s during another bankruptcy proceeding — no, really! — a chance to do the civic-minded thing by filling the hole and installing one of its spots here.

No dish would help local folks get through these tough times quite like our own Death By Chocolate®.

One look, and I’m sure you’ll agree: