Get our free newsletter

This Friday, a welcome distraction And proof that the sport has gained traction: The all-out bonanza doth merit a stanza The World Cup swings into action!

And speaking of sports-laden dross I s’pose that young Stephen can toss They call him The Savior Because his behavior Brings Pirates to ruinous loss

Not everyone had a great week Dear Helen, oh why did you speak? She used to have clout Ms. Get-the-hell-out Seems now she’s a mean ol’ antique

A DUI tarnished your name? And put your poor mother to shame? She thinks you were crunked And that’s why you flunked But maybe your test was to blame