Good morning, everyone. Today’s somehow supposed to be a lovely Tuesday with intermittent possibilities of rain. Doesn’t make much sense to me. I went out and bought the Facebook Effect last night–haven’t been this excited about a read since Harry Potter. This morning’s photo is in honor of Twitter–the sperm whale was failing all last night.

In case you missed it: motherfuckers need to be checkin’ themselves, the Textile Museum gets a new director, Japan ain’t no Korea, and blizzards are a silly excuse for missing work.

Virginia is headed toward an annual surplus for the first time since 2008, Gov. Bob McDonnell said. Great news, except Fairfax County still sits in that $2.2 billion transportation funding hole. D.C. Mayor Adrian Fenty’s hardcore about keeping his minions in check, but perhaps he should take a kindness lesson from Northern Virginia. Fear that your kid may kill you in your sleep? Move to NoVA–residents there, compared to other parts of the state, are the least likely to assault other people in their household, according to a new report published by the Family & Children’s Trust Fund of Virginia. Rihanna should’ve caught someone there, as you’ll recall Chris Brown is from Tappahannock.

The Washington Examiner’s Harry Jaffe argues that big hole in D.C.’s criminal justice system ought to be fixed. Obama’s hustlin’ for another Stimulus package. Free money!

Remember that oil spill down south? The Los Angeles Times reports:

“The Deepwater Horizon oil rig that exploded in the Gulf of Mexico was built in South Korea. It was operated by a Swiss company under contract to a British oil firm. Primary responsibility for safety and other inspections rested not with the U.S. government but with the Republic of the Marshall Islands–a tiny, impoverished nation in the Pacific Ocean.”

Well, I’ll be damned. Sounds like every other product I wear, use, and consume in the good ol’ USA. Are we surprised? And BP’s latest plan to capture the still gushing oil, may pose safety risks to workers, wrote BP Vice President Doug Suttles in a letter. Three ships placed in the area at the end of June may process up to 53,000 barrels of crude oil a day. I don’t get it. Why can’t we just plug the goddamn hole? What’s this capturing shit about?

All right kids, that’s all. I’m thinking sushi for lunch before it’s no longer a possibility.

Photo by d.boyd. Creative Commons Attribution License.