Get me rewrite!

Albert Haynesworth’s bosses ain’t the only ones disappointed that he’s avoiding the “mandatory” team workouts that begin at Redskins Park today. Haynesworth’s absence destroys Mike Wise’s Washington Post column on the news value of the team’s highest paid player.

The original headline of Wise’s piece, as it appeared online last night: “As minicamp approaches, Haynesworth isn’t the real story.”

Um….

For fans and newsers covering today’s mini-camp opening, to paraphrase Vince Lombardi: Haynesworth isn’t everything; he’s the only thing.

Wise’s original lede, as it briefly appeared in Internet versions:

While interviewing London Fletcher last week at a charity event, I spit out the obligatory Haynesworth question — Have you been in communication with Albert?…

But in hindsight, there were two problems with the question. One, it’s no one’s job but Haynesworth’s to make sure he’s part of the team….

The version that showed up on my doorstep:

“But in hindsight, especially after The Post’s Jason Reid reported Tuesday night that Haynesworth won’t show for mandatory minicamp and wants out of Washington for good, there were two problems with the question.”

Problem number two, of course: All of Wise’s and the headline writer’s words were moot before the digital ink was dry.

Wise isn’t the only who has to eat some words.

Redskins GM Bruce Allen is being used by Dan Snyder to host gatherings at which he shmoozes and eats finger foods with potential premium ticket buyers before the sales staff moves in for the kill. Attendees to one event at FedExField, called “An Evening with Bruce Allen,” assured folks at the Tupperware Party that fans had nothing to worry about with Haynesworth. One recount of Allen’s presentation, posted on Snyder’s message board last week: “He said Albert will absolutely be there at the mandatory workouts next week.”

As Wise might say: There are two problems with Allen’s sales pitch…

Get me refunds!