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It’s not easy for the lazy to show their loyalties for North Korea during the World Cup.
And not just because the team blows (who loses by a touchdown at that level of soccer?) or because rooting for Kim Jong’s boys in public around these parts will get you on all sorts of no-fly lists.
Another reason for the difficulty in wearing your colors for good ol’ DPR (and we don’t mean Department of Parks and Recreation) is it’s real hard to get any damn colors. You can make your own signs and apparel, but, again, if you’re not so industrious the folks behind the World Cup aren’t going to help you out.
The official World Cup store run online by FIFA, in fact, doesn’t even offer a North Korea jersey for sale. Go to the store’s North Korea team page and you’ll see a white t-shirt with the North Korea logo (though the color scheme looks more blue-and-orange than the correct blue-and-red), and that’s it.
Every other item for sale is generic FIFA gear or stuff with drawings of Zakumi, the mascot for the 2010 World Cup. North Korea is the only nation without merch. eBay doesn’t have any North Korea jerseys for sale, either.
If you’re cheering the USA, of course, the options are much more varied. You can even get a onesie for the teensiest fan in the family.